I don't know why I have waited just to say..

Ever since that day.. I thought I'd be happy.. but I have my doubt..
I really wish to be happy, I really do..
but how can I? when things are just not gonna be the same anymore..

Each day, I tried to pretend that I'm okay with it..
trying to laugh out whenever I have the chance..
but deep down.. I just knew, I'm scared of changes..

And now.. when there's no reason for me to laugh anymore..
I think I'm breaking apart.. am I? as if I'm loosing something?
really? I wonder why..

Should I ask "WHY?"
because I don't get it..
"IS IT ME?"
seriously, I'm asking..
"IS IT ME OR YOU?"
this is just not my game.. no fun anymore.. and I'm not gonna play along..

but I will just pretending my existence in your game..
cuz I wish to see how far can you go..
I'll support you whenever I can.. and close my eyes when you turn on me..

p/s : I need to make a big escape~ somewhere far away.. just anywhere but here!!

- My-So-Called-Life -

Hisahiburi dane ~

I'm feeling so awesome for being a dead blog for a while now~
but I'm still alive.. YES.. I'm ALIVE!!! muahahaha...

Dunno what have got into me~ suddenly wanna update this underrated blogz~
and I don't know why~ I'm so happy today or you can say I'm not feeling depressed at all today to be exact..

WHY?

like I said... I dunno why~~hahahaha...

ANYTHING NEW?

well, so many things happened for the past few months...
some are good things.. and some are... I can't say it bad.. but maybe something that I wish it wouldn't happen to me??

but things are happened for a reason right?? so, not gonna complaint about that... just gonna go on with it.. silently keeping it to myself....... and yet again I just wish I have someone to share it with..

some people says.. Life is hard.. and it's not always easy to continue your every'days'...
and some people says.. Life is also fun... to learn something new and grown up a little on your every'days'...

but all I can say is.. you're the one living your life.. so, you choose how you wanna your life to turn out.. it's hard if you make it hard.. and it's fun if you make it fun...

but...then again.. there a twist in this thing called life...

you can't simply live by just having one of it... you need both to make to make it real.. and that's Life...

Yatta~ \(^_^)/..... after a few months I forgot to 'mengarut x tentu pasal' about myself... finally I manage to write one... yeah... I'm awesome... (somehow I'm feeling good about myself... and I don't care what people might think... I'm just being ME~)

that's all from me for now... I'll 'megarut' again next time when I have time... hahahahaha...

I never thought _ _ _ would ~ ~

I'm depressed.. I'm depressed.. I'm depressed...
These past few days.. I'm totally depressed!!!!

every single thing I do is depressing.. (well~~ maybe not everything..)
but I'm depressed!!!

Why??

wHy??

whY??

you wanna know why??

it's because of _ _ _!!!

its all because of _ _ _!!! (take a guess if you wanna know~~ I'm not gonna spoiled it here~~ da~~)

ARGH!!! I can't even hate _ _ _ because of what happened, but I'm just.. ARGH!!!

okay that is all for now~~
(gomen.. this is what happened when I can't tell anyone why I'm feeling down lately~~)

Kemaskini Penyata Idup.....

Kemas... mengemas... kemaskini... mengemaskini... terkemas... akhirnya lemas!!! hahaha...

kemas... susun... simpan... penat... penin2... letih... tido....
hari2 mende nie je duk pikir.. duk buatnya...
tambahan.... [sambil mendonlod cite2 yg x penah nak abis... penat!!]

saikin, xdek mende yg menarik nak menceritai kat snie...
mengemas rumah je kejenye...
bosan2... go shopping jap...huhu...
beli belah makan2... best2...

setelah berfikir dan mengemaskini otak wat seketika...
baru keperasanan, dah hampir 6 bolan ketidakkan kejumpaan sama itu kebudak2an sengal...
huih~~~ pecah rekod nie... muahaha...
xpe la... biaq pi depa rindu lelama...hahaha...
bru epic bila wat reunion nnt... muahaha lagi...

ntah knape, x kesampaian nak kejumpaan ngan depa sume...
maybe sebab [dah maybe, sebab lagi...haha..] sejarah berulang... mende yg sama terjadi 3 taun dlu, jadi balik skang!!! argh!!!
patut la new boyz nyanyi "sejarah mungkin berulang~~~~" [pengetahuan am, ambe x penah kesukaan lagu tu!!!]
mmg mende yg sama terjadi...
bila dah kecewa + frust + fade up = malas nak amik tau hal sekeliling dah!!!!!
nak idup dalam dunia sendiri je... x bleh ke???

maap la ye kengkawan sume... emo.... emo... dan emo...
skang nie dah jadi jenis yg hanyut... malas nak pikir banyak2...
bio je... nnt lame2, ok la tu kot...hahaha....
maap deh...
x jumpe reset button lagi... nnt dah jumpa, ok la balik... insyaAllah...

next week, nak outing!!! sape nak ikut, jom2~~~
xnak ikut sudah... zaman lain plak kte ketemu...huhuhu...
berzaman cuti, bru nak kluar... hahaha....
mmg 'home person' sungguh...
mmg duk umah lagi best pe... kan.. kan.. kan...
lain la jenis yg suka berjalan...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"sono ase wa uso wo tsukanai yo..
KIRA KIRA hikaru shinjitsu
jounetsu wa uragiru kotonai yo
honki nara yume wa kanau
doryoku no tsubomi wa minoru darou
kurushinda ato tsukamu darou
maue no taiyou ga kimi wo miterunda..."

"That sweat doesn't lie
It's a sparkling truth
Your passion won't betray you
If you're serious, your dream will come true
Surely a bud of effort will come to fruit
After you've suffered, surely you'll grab it
The sun overhead is watching you..."

love this song!!!! semangat bile dengo~~~
"After you've suffered, surely you'll grab it!!" yeah!!!

dah le... nnt hapdate di lain kali plak...haha... excited!!!
adik balik hari nie!!!! menunggu tiba pagi hari...
menunggu kepulanggan adikku... [cam lagu raya dah bunyinye....hahahaha...]


p/s: ape je la amal yg dah buatnya nie... nak kemas penyata idup kunun2... edeih!!

busy nak "??????" @_@

the story after "berzaman" x update..muahaha

Chapter 1

it's been a while...
how lazy I am to update this thing...muahaha...
update!! update!!! yeah~~~
but then,
no words are coming out of my head right now..(?_?)
hurm... monday blues i guess..


this past few months~~
i don't know how to describe it actually...
hurm...(thinking... thinking...)

well~~
with everything going around,
things just pop out of no where,
presentations comes crashing down...
assignments keeps stealing my times..
huh~~ -_-
i just wanna shout at the top of my lungs!!!
aarrgghhhh!!!!!(kunun2 la..)

somehow i end taking my study seriously...
and my life just seems busy nak mampus!! waa!!!!
with all my strength I wish I can run away...
(well, not really.. just wanna have a break for my self lol...hehehe)

Chapter 2

sejak 2 menjak masuk mestech nie, kepelbagaian yg berlaku...
banyak bende la jadi...
nak cite banyak bebeno... dipendekkan cite, beginilah jadinye...

bebaru je nie, dikejutkan dgn cite yg terkejut...
mmg x kesangkaan la... tapi dah ditakdirkan cmtu...
ntah nape, cam insaf skit... sedey pun ada la jgak...

Chapter 3

disebabkan kesibukkan yg nak mampus nie,
ramai org telah diwat x taukan...
so, the very the sorry ok...
jangan la trase ke, amik hati ke...
tapi kalo trase gak, korang pnye suka la kan...hahaha...

falsapah idup terbaru skang : " wat u give, u get back"
if you make some effort to meet me, then i'll do the same...
if not, "ada aku kesah.." senang cite ok...

for those that always msg2 me yg x kenal penat lelah tu... maceh2..
terharu gler ar...
walopun kadang2 x ter'reply' msg... kome msg jgak...

Chapter 4

sejak 2 menjak nie, emosi nie cam tsunami pun ada gak...
x pasal2, ada yg terkene tempias emoticon..hahaha...
also the very the sorry ok...
bila dah stress tu, volume kadang2 tertinggi banyak skit...
kadang2 tu "mute" je trus...
paham2 la ye...
bila bercampur dengan masalah jiwa,
mentaliti x kesampaian ke transition state...hahahaha...
but right now, mix of feelings~~

nota kaki : ntah bile nak hapdate lepas nie... muahaha... :p

bila penat menanti???

AMARAN !! tajuk posting nie, xdek kene mengena dengan isi posting nie...

Bowink!!

Malas!!

Berat Hati!!

Sedey!!

Tak suka!!!!!!!

Itu le yang dirasa bila beberapa hari je lagi sebelum bermulanya sem baru.... Result sem lepas, baru je check hari nie sebab terlupa...hahaha... sgt menarik~~

"I think, i should stop now... thank you... muahaha..."

apakah ini??? ntah le... rasa penat semacam dah...

nak cakap pasal mende lain plak la...

hurm... lepas 3 kali kene format laptop sem lepas, koleksi nasyid selama 3 taun dah ilang... sedey~~ kecewa~~ suma ada...

so, skang nie mula suka suki lelagu korea balik... "neol saranghanda~~"hehehe...

dulu, bila tgk drama korea, kompem donlod ost dia je... skang, angah suka pomot lagu2 baru artis korea... sume lagu korea pon layan dah skang... yeah~~

minggu lepas lak, secara x sengaja terjumpa group J-pop "AKB48"... skang ngah layan lagu2 komplan nie lak... suka tgk baju2 skolah diorang, comey je... Team A my peberet..hoho..

[3rd single]

rie tu lak, baru beli album Hafiz Hamidun... tapi xdek kesempatan nak dengo lagi...hehe... tgh tunggu mood nasyid datang balik baru nak dengo...huhu...

[album "Syukran"]

p/s : suka basuh baju, suka sidai baju dan menggosok baju... patutkah kerja di kedai dobi??? x pun jadi suri rumah aje lah...hahaha...

mood swing + exam + migrain = demam x_x

♥ Hampir seminggu, moody x habis2 lagi... nak kata marah, dah lama expired marah nye... nak kata sakit hati, dah x larat nak sakit hati... sebab apa pon x tau le... mmg malas nak layan dah... tapi rasa depress je...

♥ lepas terkene kali nie, mmg dah nekad dah... insyaAllah lepas nie, no more!!! xkan ambe berlembut hati lagi!!! tapi time2 exam nie jgak nak terkene..haih~~ hancus paper OC tadi, migrain time exam.. redha je la..

♥ mase habis paper tadi, mengeletar semacam je... ingatkan parkinson ke apa, rupa2nya demam...hehehe... paper pon x sempat habis jawab, melarikan diri awal2... x tahan mata+kepala sakit... wawawa....

♥ tgh hari tadi plak rumate dah blik, tinggal la sensorang... sangat menjeleskan.. paper dia habis awal... dah sensorang nie, mrayap la sensorang kat student center tadi... sunyi gler... cam xdek orang jerk... ramai dah balik rasanya... tinggal la manusia2 yg x habis paper lagi.. (diriku le tu...)

p/s : mase tgh menaip nie pon, mata dah berdenyut2 dah nie... mau pegi berehat dlu ye...

Moody...

Assalamualaikum semua...

Buat pengungjung2 blog ku ini, pekabo?? Harap2 sihat sejahtera selalu... malam nie nak meluahkan perasaan skit... hari nie, mcm2 jadi.. poning pale teman ...hehe... pg semalam dah le tido bape jam je... ngan mate yg duk menuntut hak utk ditutup, pg la kuliah... nasib baik x tertuntut hak tu...hehe... masuk kelas tutor lak... rasa happy je.. sebab subjek peberet tu .... tapi, ada la sorang manusia nia kan ... merosakkan hari yg baik serba indah ku ini... x tau nape.. jeles ke apa... sedey sgt tau... x sangka la... ada manusia yang suka memandang rendah terhadap org lain... bajet bagus je .. nie yang nak marah nie!!! (manusia camtu... mmg la wujudkan... tapi x terjangka la akan jumpa sorang..hehe..)

Mood ku yg happy , telah beralih frekuensinya kepada moody ... sampai lapo pun rasa kenyang... gambaran nasi goreng jadi roti cicah air je...huhu.. tapi sabar lebih baik..kan..kan..kan... pastu tetibe la plak abah tersayang tepon, mcm tau2 je orang tgh sedey... nie yang sayang abah lebih nie... cam ada instinct lak anak ye yg sorang nie ngah sedey..hehe... (to my abah.. i luv u ..hehe..) tapi bila abah tau ku bersedey, skit pnye panjang la plak dia bg tazkirah ...hehe... tapi dengan tazkirah panjang tu la, terubat skit hati anak ye sorang nie...kuikuikui...


Lepas abis kelas, gi la shopping skit ngan rumate... release tension orang kampung kata..hehe... kalau omputeh lak, melepaskan tekanan..hukhukhuk... kami pi makan eskrem ... sonok...hehe...


Tetiba ingat kt sahabat sorang nie... ari tu, ntah mcm mana ntah... mcm ada salah paham kot ... apa sebabnya?? x ku terpaham apa yg sebenarnya yg terjadi...hehe... dia cam majuk je... ntah le... sape majuk ngan sapa pun, dah x paham dah.. kongpius...hehe... so, nak tujukan sebuah lagu wat sahabatku... kalau terer, teka la lagu pe... teman dah edit liriknya sesuka hati...

Resah...
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Meski
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Tanpa..
Kasihmu aku hampa
Tanpa..
Dirimu aku sunyi

Kini berat benarku rasakan
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